Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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