Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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