we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
