Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
