Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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