he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
