evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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