Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Randomize
