She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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