She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
