This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
