google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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