just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
