I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
