Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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