You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
