I wannas sexs uuuuu
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
