Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
