this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
