OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
cat food counts as protein by the way
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
