i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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