sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
