she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
