So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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