I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
