i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
it was like having sex with a tree stump
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
