Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
