for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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