don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
