Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
This baby is an asshole
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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