FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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