he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Couch. On fire.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
