you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
50% drunk capacity currently
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
