she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
