We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
