I think i peed on brittanys purse
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I think my moral compass just broke
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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