He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
