I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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