The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
