help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
