I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
