i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Randomize
