is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
accomplished twins. life is a go
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
