Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
