Sacagawea was the original milf.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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