Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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