I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I can't put those talents on a resume
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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