We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
