NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
