Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
